Shot Through the Heart Day 1

Well today is the beginning of February 2012; and such I would like to introduce the beginning of my little experiment. Shot Through the Heart is a new daily blog in which I will browser the depth's of Netflix hell and find some of the worst rated romantic comedies, and write my thoughts or feelings towards the film. All films will be a romantic comedy to go with the romance theme of February, and all of the writings will be written as I watch the film. These will not be reviews, but simply opinion pieces as I watch some truly pieces of shit. Most will probably be a list of my by the second thoughts with a nice short wrap-up at the end, but lets wait and find out together.

Today's film is: No Strings Attached (2011)

Well this is the first film to come up in the search engine, and with a 3 star rating it doesn't seem to good so I'll go with it.

• "So, can I finger you?" This was said between what I can only assume are ten year old children; this is a fantastic start.
• Six minute mark: Yup Ashton Kutcher is still a douchbag "actor". To think, he's the soft hearted character of the film. Fuck.
• Natalie Portman is arguably my favorite actress, but I don't understand her. She just had a movie where she had a full blown lesbian scene, and yet she seems so awkward here talking about penises.
• Ok their first "date" is a funeral. As far as set-pieces go thats pretty good, but Im throughly disappointed at how not bad this film is.
• Film Cliche #1: Parental issues
• Film Cliche #2: Main character living in shadow of someone else
• Ok, this movies starting to get pretty bad now. Drinking Montage, yay?
• 21 minute mark: Ashton Kutcher's bare ass in all it's glory! Fuck this happened a lot sooner then I honestly expected... I mean its pretty obvious it would happen, but come on he hasn't even had sex yet.
• I kinda like Natalie Portman as a soulless bitch, but again I can't get over how awkward she is.
• 48 minute mark: Kind of a big time jump here, but don't worry they've just been having sex a bunch we still have a hour to tie up all those dangling loose ends.
• Sex montage, yay?
• 62 minute mark: Kevin Kline is now singing to Ashton Kutcher. Its not really bad, but I would just like to point out that Im so bored with this film that I spent the time looking up Kevin Kline's name. By the way he plays Ashton's dad.
• Oh I forgot to mention Cliche #3: Gay Roommate. 
• Aww they fell in love! Who could of guessed?
• In all honestly Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher have no chemistry here. Watching their "sex scene's" is like watching two wicker chair's rub up against each other. Surprisingly in this case Im rooting for the Kutcher chair, because he's the one that understands its role as a chair and fits comfortably into it.
• Ok, movies over now. I can't say I really hated it; everything just kind of did its part and nothing else. If this is what this month has in store for me then I can say I will not hate myself as much as I think Im going too, but instead Ill just be very bored. To think this movie is supposedly getting a television spin-off.
• Wait, the director of Ghostbusters directed this? Thats a very strange career change.

This is the part were I should wrap everything up, but I did that already.... See you all tomorrow!